Lazy Coworker Rump Roast

Lazy Coworker Rump Roast

Prep Time


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In this recipe, the focus is the under-used and pre-tenderized cut of meat, often worn from hours of loafing, while on the clock. Slow cooking the flesh brings out a rich flavor, and the chili seasoning adds a zest of life, long since gone from the subject’s work ethic.

 This “recipe” is part of our tongue-in-cheek look at the eating habits displayed in the Netflix series, Santa Clarita Diet. This is purely spoof–do not attempt to make these at home!









  • 1 tablespoon ground black pepper
  • 1 tablespoon paprika
  • 2 teaspoons chili powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon celery salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
  • 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon mustard powder
  • 1 (4 pound) rump flesh, taken from least favored co-worker


  • 1 In a small bowl, mix together black pepper, paprika, chili powder, celery salt, cayenne pepper, garlic powder, and mustard powder.
  • 2 Rub mixture over the surface of the raw flesh (it's a joke, folks!)
  • 3 Place meat in a slow cooker, and add 1/2 cup water.
  • 4 Cover, and cook on low for 8 to 10 hours.
  • 5 When meat is tender and well done, transfer to a serving platter.
  • 6 Don’t bother to skim the fat, since it’s been well seasoned, simply spoon rich liquid on top of this well deserved plate; you’ve earned it!



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