Crispy Basement Dweller Pork Belly

Crispy Basement Dweller Pork Belly

Prep Time


Cook Time




Your typical basement dweller subsists on a diet of high-sugar, high-calorie, high-fat snacks and beverages with little-to-no activity. This gives the meat a rich, sweet flavor. The fat almost caramelizes the meat on its own! The rendered fat makes for a great fry oil, giving the meat a crispy, candied finish. The ample flesh also means that one good catch will last you a while.

This “recipe” is part of our tongue-in-cheek look at the eating habits displayed in the Netflix series, Santa Clarita Diet. This is purely spoof–do not attempt to make these at home!





  • 1/2 pound whole belly, skin removed
  • 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
  • Kosher salt and ground black pepper to taste
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil


  • 1 Preheat oven to 200 degrees F (95 degrees C).
  • 2 Season belly meat all over with smoked paprika, salt, and black pepper. Wrap flesh in parchment paper; wrap a second time in aluminum foil, and a third time in another sheet of aluminum foil. Place packet in a baking dish.
  • 3 Roast in the preheated oven until tender for 6 hours.
  • 4 Let cool in wrappings to room temperature; place cooled packet in refrigerator and chill for 8 hours or overnight.
  • 5 Unwrap chilled meat. Save any rendered fat that falls away when unwrapping.
  • 6 Cut flesh into 6 equal-size portions. Cut 1/8-inch by 1/8-inch slashes in the fattiest-side. Season with salt.
  • 7 Heat 2 tablespoons reserved fat in a skillet over medium heat. Place belly meat, fattiest side down, in hot fat; cook until well-browned on all sides and heated through, 5 to 10 minutes. Transfer belly meat to a plate, drizzle with olive oil and season with pepper.


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