Mother-in-Law Wagging Finger Sandwiches

Mother-in-Law Wagging Finger Sandwiches

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All that waving around and pointing out your life mistakes has really packed on some tasty muscle. Think of these as a decadent, revengeful version of Afternoon Tea Time, with rare meat and creamy avocado.

This “recipe” is part of our tongue-in-cheek look at the eating habits displayed in the Netflix series, Santa Clarita Diet. This is purely spoof–do not attempt to make these at home!




  • 1 medium ripe California avocado
  • 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
  • 1 tablespoon fresh chives, minced
  • 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • 12 very thin slices white sandwich bread
  • 2 tablespoons mayonnaise
  • 1 teaspoon soy sauce
  • 1/2 pound carefully procured minced finger flesh (remember, folks, this is a spoof!)
  • 1 tablespoon black sesame seeds


  • 1 In small bowl, mash avocado with fork.
  • 2 Stir in lemon juice, chives, salt, and pepper.
  • 3 Spread avocado mash over 6 slices bread, dividing evenly.
  • 4 Whisk soy sauce into mayonnaise, for added flavor.
  • 5 Spread other 6 slices bread with about 1 teaspoon each mayonnaise-soy mixture.
  • 6 Top with minced finger meat, dividing evenly, and add a small amount of black sesame seeds, for umami flavor. Gently press avocado-topped bread slices, avocado sides down, onto each sandwich.
  • 7 Using long serrated knife, trim off crusts and cut each sandwich lengthwise into thirds, and enjoy all your hard work-never to go unnoticed again.


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